Toast

This week has been one of those weeks.  You know the sort, life decides it might like to try moving a bit faster and then it likes the idea and then suddenly you are being dragged along at an alarming rate, unable to slow down or even hold onto your hat.

There is a fabulous solution to the problem: Toast.  Yes with a capital T, this is serious Toast, not the quick sort you stuff in when you're late for work, or the half-hearted attempt you make when there's nothing left to eat in the house, this is serious, problem solving, life-fixing Toast.

You will need:

Good quality bread (home made is best, but shop bought will do if it is the freshly baked kind, pre-bagged pre-sliced will absolutely not cut it)  (haha).  The loaf I'm using here was a little present from my Mummy, bought from her local bakery.

Salted dairy butter (sorry arteries, nothing else will do) - at room temperature so it's nice and soft

The qualifiers for the toppings are that they have to be quick, be things readily available in a crisis-struck home and require no extra washing up or preparation.  You could have normal things like jam or Marmite if your crisis isn't too bad and the magic will still work.  For high level crises see below.

Cut a good thick slice of bread and toast it to your preferred shade.

Whip it out of the toaster and butter heavily, making sure you go all the way to the edges.

Slice number one: Sprinkle with caster sugar and cinnamon.

Slice number two: Get a bowl of fresh raspberries or blackberries.  Press one onto the toast, munch, enjoy.  Press another one on....

Slice number three: Grate (just scrape with the buttering knife otherwise you'll have to wash up the grater too) some chocolate onto the hot toast and top with sliced banana.

Slice number four: Grate some chocolate onto the hot toast and top with a drizzle of the syrup from a jar of stem ginger.

If you have a bit more energy:

Slice number five: Scrape out half an avocado with a fork and squash onto buttered toast, sprinkle with chunky salt, pepper and either chilli jelly or balsamic vinegar.

Slice number six: Mash tinned sardines/mackeral (make sure they are sustainably caught) with pepper, a splash of vinegar and a blob of mayonnaise and spread on the hot toast.  This doesn't sound amazing, but it just is.  And if you don't own tinned sardines you are committing a crime and must absolutely go and purchase some at once.

Slice number seven: Cheese on toast - don't butter the toast, but spread instead with pickle or chutney, cover with slices of good strong cheese and shove under the grill until bubbling and just golden.

I used cucumber relish and goats cheese, but anything will work, try a scraping of concentrated tomato puree (the stuff that comes in a tube) or sliced pickled onions with strong Cheddar, sliced apple with Stilton or Roquefort, or chilli jelly with Brie or Camembert.

Behold.  Life rescued, problems solved.  Easy peasy and hardly any washing up.

Oh and the reason for the hecticosity?  Edward's just been posted to Plymouth and we are moving house in four weeks time.  Four weeks.  Four.